Posted by: JennyRain | July 14, 2010

My Will be Done: When Heaven Bends to our Desires

Many times I have jumped high enough to grasp the corner of heaven and peel back the sky.

In those moments its treasures sprinkle out like candy from a piñata. Head arched back, eyes closed, I let the candy-droplets bounce off my arms and land at my feet.

In these seasons I have worn God out through my pleading.

Early-morning prayer sessions give way to enlisting armies of prayer lobbiests. I am sure that my cause is righteous and I am worthy to be asking. I have punched my fist in the air with stubborn entitlement until heaven capitulates and I am satiated.

I believe that sometimes God gives me exactly what I ask for.

Then there I sit.
With my candy hoard.
On the floor.
Wondering why I asked for so much chocolate.

There is a paucity to our unimaginative two-dimensional wills.

Adam and Eve found this out when they were stuck holding an apple as they were escorted out of paradise.

We find this out when we realize our dreams were human-sized instead of heaven-sized.

I am in a season where God is showing me the contrast between my will and His will.

Who knew they were different?

It is not that I am learning my will or my desires are bad, or wrong, or flawed – they are just human, insufficient, lacking completeness.

As a human, I can’t even determine what I may need over the course of twenty-four hours let alone have enough foresight to see across the span of a decade.

But God can.

God can predict the bumps and turns of every character-molding experience, forsee the growth and development of our souls, and understand how all of this knits us closer to Him and transforms our hearts into Christ-likeness.

He knows when the dreams we are lobbying heaven for are too small.

Yet He allows us to ask, please, insist, and receive OUR will.

Because that is what Grace does.

As I allow God to pry back my fingers from dreams I’ve carried that might be too small, I find myself in need of resting in Him more completely.

Are there any dreams you have for yourself that may not be God’s dreams for you?

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Responses

  1. God size v me size. I just carry on assuming that my logic is where I have arrived. So cheating myself. He patiently let’s me fail, or realize I’m small. Today I’m thankful for the failing. Slowly expanding my logic.

  2. I don’t know if I have any dream that’s God’s dream for me. I do know that my dreams will never satisfy even if I get them unless they’re what He wants for me. I just keep waiting for Him to give me His dreams.

  3. Great post Jenny! God size vs. Me Size…good stuff!

  4. “Early-morning prayer sessions give way to enlisting armies of prayer lobbiests. I am sure that my cause is righteous and I am worthy to be asking. I have punched my fist in the air with stubborn entitlement until heaven capitulates and I am satiated.”

    Well said, Jenny, well said! (as per usual).

  5. I think so many times we genuinely believe that our dreams are Gods dreams. But, then the dreams become the idol over God and He can’t have that. He is a jealous God that wants us and him to be first above anything else. That is when our dreams get smashed. We get hung up on what we “do” for God. We are supposed to love God with all we have and then love our “neighbors as ourselves” Everything else should come out of that overflow of that relationship with Him first. But, we are miserable at that. I am- I want to do- more than I want to be. But- he wants me to be. So – I don’t know at all if our dreams line up all that often….

  6. “Then there I sit.
    With my candy hoard.
    On the floor.
    Wondering why I asked for so much chocolate.”

    What a great analogy.

    Great to find you through High Calling Blogs. Welcome!

    • Cheryl – thanks! So excited to be a part of the community! 🙂

  7. A couple of years ago as I would talk to God about the future (I was approaching empty nesting), the Holy Spirit asked me if I wanted to pray the best prayer. What is that, I asked? Here goes…. God, what do I want? Been praying it ever since. Great post Jenny!

    • Oh my gosh

      “God, what do I want?”

      Girl…. that is rocking my world right now! God asked me “what do you want” for – no lie – three straight years! I couldn’t answer it. Wow! Wow… never thought to ask God back…

  8. It is not that I am learning my will or my desires are bad, or wrong, or flawed – they are just human, insufficient, lacking completeness.

    Sometimes we dream too small.

    When I think of all the things I begged God for that He didn’t give me and then I got upset and acted like a spoiled 2 year old, I’m grateful. That boy that wasn’t into me led to having a husband I’d never dreamed of having. The children I begged for led to more intimate times with my husband and us growing (up) as a couple and God leading us in ways we would have never imagined He would.

    I’m glad His ways are not my ways. I’m glad He’s the one directing this river of my life when I loosen my grip on the banks. Because if I’d had my way I’d probably be unhappily married, living in Detroit.

    • “Because if I’d had my way I’d probably be unhappily married, living in Detroit.”

      Oh girl. I can’t even imagine where I’d be living right now! LOL this made me smile

  9. What a great reminding of how we need to remain faithful… no matter what we have planned… He laughs b/c he has his own plans.

    As for dreams… I dreamt of many things… I life without divorce, custody battles… w/o meaning of the things laid before me… but He laughed… and gave them to me anyways.

    But as the song goes… bless the broken road that led me straight to you…

  10. thank you…enjoy it.

  11. Jenny,
    Thank you for this truthful and insightful lesson. Yes, I have dreams that do not mesh with that of our Savior. Learing to “discern” what is mune as opposed to what is His is a daily prayer for me. Left to my own devices, I would hover under the pinata until it ran dry.
    For me, I am currently trying to learn discipline through Him. It seems for me to be the answer to doing God’s will, learning to “just say NO” to self a bit more often. Thanks for this lesson friend!
    God Bless
    Jim

  12. I loved that image of the candy. And, well, I am particularly a chocolate lover. Hmmm… 🙂

    Welcome, btw, to HighCallingBlogs.

    • Thank you! So excited to be a part of the community 🙂

  13. I have a wonderful book for you at this time. It’s called Let the Fire Fall and it’s by Fr. Michael Scanlan. It’s his autobiography, and is so accessible and so real. It opens with his childhood and his 18yr old experience that taught him God exists. Then it goes through his time in law school, the Air Force, and finally the priesthood. His time as a priest had major seasons such as his time as the President of a university, his work in Civil Rights, etc. One thing I got out of the book was his real description of how God changed his will as he prayed for things in his life. His will would change, he’d pray for his new desire, and because that was also God’s will, his prayer would be answered. And it was far more fulfilling than the original thing he’d desired. It’s an inspirational journey and a great example for all maturing Christians. It’s hard to get a copy of the book, but a little bit of internet research and you’d have it in your hands. Seriously, check it out! You will SO relate.

    • Love this! You are like my book-finding-expert so I’ll take a look at it 🙂

  14. jenny- again…fabulous post!

    im in love with your writing, btw.

    im sure there are many dreams of mine that are not His. its just figuring out which ones those are. some times…we dont know until we pursue them.

    and thats the scary part.

    • Thank you friend… that is a huge compliment 🙂 I {heart} you!!

      I’m so glad God has crossed our paths… so many times you have asked questions or said something that prompts me deeper into the heart place of seeking Christ… or deeper into the place of acknowledging that “yes, I’m in an unknown place” but “Yes, there are others who have walked or are walking this path.”

      Thanks for being a light TamTam 🙂


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