Posted by: JennyRain | July 8, 2010

Living Behind the Thin Place

Stretching needy fingers up from heart’s edge, anxious tentacles reach upward encompassing tender cheek bones.

 Anxiety longs to find release in teary-eyed freedom.

When release is blocked, anxiety makes a U-turn away from neurons crossroads and dives head-first through heart’s chambers. Stomach plummets, stretching floor-ward from the impact.

Heart-flutters shimmy through biceps and out fingertips like electric shocks. Temples pound with restless energy caught in the boundaries of eye-sockets refusing to surrender to salty-water-works.

This is the thin place.

It is the place where the scene you are living in and the one just beyond the scrim do not look alike.

Touching the transparent-gauze curtain reminds you that you are concealed behind an alternate reality.

You exist in a world with sets and scenes and planned dialogue where you know what to expect. Call times announced, costumes prepped, actors staged, lines rehearsed, contingency plans memorized. A place of expectations and paper where everyone knows the blocking for each scene.

Rehearsed. Continuous. Consistent. Safe…

Life beyond the scrim is an unplanned universe full of unknowns, a place with dependencies and inadequacies that threaten to breed failure.

Pushing flat palm to extend the chiffon boundary connects the two worlds.


But, fear and pain from the other side mar the wonder of the moment and the scrim falls back into place.

Anxiety remains.

I am in a thin place right now…

A place where reason and anxiety are colliding but faith is lacking.

In Celtic and other traditions the thin places are those borderlands where human life, the Holy and creation meet.  They are openings into new insight.

Insight of the Holy perhaps?

Poet Sharlande Sledge says:

“Thin places,” the Celts call this space,
Both seen and unseen,
Where the door between the world
And the next is cracked open for a moment
And the light is not all on the other side.
God shaped space. Holy.


 

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Responses

  1. praying for you sister; thanks for your transparency in the thin place. Peace of the Lord and Love in Christ,
    Jennifer

    • thank you friend… hugs 🙂

  2. OH Jennifer… I know this place well… after my divorce… I contantly felt as though I was falling… or at least everything around me was falling… I couldn’t see… the film you speak of… I couldn’t concentrate… nothing seemed to grab my attention… nothing could shake me.

    It was writing that helped get me through it… I wrote and more people stated that I was not alone. I felt His presence through other people’s words…

    You’re not alone… I’ve been there… and you will with His help… get out of the thin place.

    • I LOVED your post the day after this – it was SO incredibly encouraging and uplifting… knowing there is an end to the waiting… you are a blessing 🙂

  3. You need to come on board with my Pete Wilson challenge…believe He’s there no matter what. For me, it’s actually helped a lot with the anxiety issues. Nothing “major” has happened but I feel a little more peace.

    • I’m on board… its just working a little different for me… but that’s ok… I like how God is manifesting Himself differently as we approach the challenge… which is SO totally God… and I so totally love that 🙂 I’m glad you are doing the challenge… it is motivating me and helping me keep my eyes and heart in teh right place 🙂

  4. Jenny,
    This time will pass, you will jump for joy again, you will await the day again, you will celebrate and feel content and wonderful again.
    Only in brokenness are we made whole in Him again, but darnit, why does it have to hurt so much, and why do we have to be broken so many times? He will tell us, one day. God be with you, Praying for you. God Bless
    Jim

    • thank you Jim… you are such a blessing 🙂


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