Blogiquette Gone Wrong: Mastering the art of the Swoop and Poop

Whatever happen to respectful debates?

Over the last few weeks I’ve seen some nasty commenters on blogs. You know the kind, they de-lurk only to offer an unfriendly comment, an unhelpful suggestion, an uninvited nasty-gram.

They basically swoop-and-poop all over your blog.

These cantankerous commenters can be found all over the blogosphere:

Like here
and here which spawned this (all because of this post by another blogger)
Oh, and this particularly nasty person

MANY of these professional swoop-and-poopers comment anonymously.

MANY are women insulting other women.

MANY are “Christians” condemning other Christians.

Well now isn’t that special!

I have heard people use the excuse, “Well, if you put it out there, you deserve whatever feedback you get.”

Really? Really?

Forgive my cynicism, but when did sharing your story mean that others get the right to eviscerate you publicly?

Have we become that hateful of a society, more intent on tearing others down than building them up?

I believe there is another way.

I believe that we can interact online and choose to be “Totally honest and Totally kind” in our feedback.

As I have grown into my writing, grown in my relationship with God, and grown into online community, I have written some potentially controversial posts – not to intentionally be controversial, but to step into the authenticity of my own developing story.  My regular readers have commented with the utmost grace, care, and respect to EVERYONE who offers their opinions and feedback here.

Many of you have disagreed with me, but done so in a way that has helped me and others to grow.

I value every-single-one of you who have helped to create and maintain that type of growth-encouraging environment.

You have each shown a depth of character, a purity of heart, and a clarity of conscience as you have interacted here.

You have been totally honest AND totally kind.

Thank you.

My heart is that this blog will be a safe place for everyone to process, ask questions, share feedback, and journey together through the process of living. Whether you agree with me or not, I want this to be a safe place for discussions to happen.

You have demonstrated to me that healthy, honest debate can happen if we create the environment for it.

So, how do we – as a community of bloggers – create an environment where healthy communication can occur?

1 – Check your mouth. Refrain from logorrhea (diarrhea of the mouth, or of the keyboard as it were).

2 – Check your heart. Choose to remember that every person on the blogosphere has inherent value, worth, and dignity. Because if your heart truly believes this about humanity – compassion can be your only response.

3 – Check your passions. If you are incensed about something, examine why you are having a visceral reaction.

If you can get command over your emotional reactions and determine why that “thing” that has you so angry is energizing you – I promise you – you will learn and you will grow.

Conversely, lack of “passion control” into the land of swoop and poop means you will keep circling around the same things that have made you mad forever.

4 – Check your motives. Ask yourself “What is my goal?”

If it is to publicly defame and degrade another person, go back to number one and start over.

And, if you find these practices too onerous, well, then don’t come back.

For that matter, don’t come back to any of the sites on my blogroll as those are folks I care about, folks whose lives I’m invested in, and people who have a heart and who need compassion and grace – as we all do.

If you think you are going to poop online, don’t.

There are too many hearts and lives here that I care about to see anyone get hurt, their respective journeys damaged, or their days ruined by the careless words of an anonymous swoop and poop.