Posted by: JennyRain | June 16, 2010

Stopsigns and Sinkholes: Following where the Path May Lead

I have been wrestling with something that has consumed my heart in the last few weeks.

Wrestling and me… we don’t get along very well.

Partly because I don’t do exercise and wrestling is, well, considered exercise to me. Partly because wrestling means I don’t have everything figured out.

I hate not having everything figured out.

But, thanks to some wonderful folks who have been faithfully praying, I have some clarity.

Clarity for me… is good.

I like clarity. Clarity helps me function.

So the last couple of weeks, I have been functional.


Yet around every turn, new questions arise.

There is a yearning in my spirit… a restlessness… a sense that something is on the horizon.

No clear definition of if that “something” is good, bad, neutral, or just a thing.

It is just a sense. Seemingly, a good sense.

Wisdom makes all the difference in our path…

As I was wrestling through the sinkhole that had appeared unexpectedly, a very dear friend said the following to me:

Dear Jenny. We can have everything that we think we want, but it’s only what we’ve been capable of dreaming of. God wants so much more for us. That’s why he puts those big sinkholes in our lives, in the midst of satisfaction that we think we’ve found, he wants so much more for us. I found this to be true and I stake my faith on it – He doesn’t put those questions and that pain in our lives without promising to give us the answer to it. He just wants us to question so that he can show us how much closer he wants to bring us. Keep questioning him, he will answer you. Love you, sweet lady. Love, Thel

Dang I love my girlfriends.

So I have opened a few doors since encountering the sink hole. I have made some decisions and taken some risks.

John and I have taken some risks together.

And we are walking the path… one step at a time…


I’ve also started the re-examination of the journey that has brought me this far.

The vision, values, and mission that have guided me thus far are back on the table to be re-examined, questioned, re-tooled if necessary.

The sinkhole no longer scares me because I know its there.

I am also reassured by the fact that even if I do not know where the path is leading… I know the One who knows, who cares, and who has created a more beautiful journey than I could ever imagine, hope for, or dream of…

 

We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps…Pr 16.9

***

pssst… come join a discussion on this at TamTam‘s blog where we are talking about the concept of what happens when God brings a “Plan B” type experience into your life.

Share

Advertisements

Responses

  1. plans and steps. Dreaming without control. Hard places to wrestle with. So glad you are risking to wrestle. That’s one of the hardest parts. You’re brave friend!

  2. Clarity?

    I’m not familiar with that word. What is this clar-i-ty of which you speak? 😉

    • As a guy at work says it’s clear as mud.

  3. It seems quite appropriate to re-examine everything as a couple. To see where your mutual steps are headed. It’s a process that has the potential for simultaneous exhaustion and exhilaration! Du courage!!!!

  4. Where I am now, I didn’t expect to be. It’s good though. And the paths He’s (seems to be) scooting in front of us and beneath our feet are exciting.

  5. Wow, Jenny… this one resinates with me. Your friend has wonderful advice… It’s truly universal.
    Holding on to the ONE who knows,
    ~Manda

  6. “I hate not having everything figured out.”
    I hate it too! You know what I hate even more? Those moments when I thought I had everything figured out and suddenly something happens and I understand that I’ve got it all wrong… 🙂
    I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I can never have everything figured out…

  7. One tip I learned in recovery that I think carries over into the expectations I have for my life. And that is living for today. The next 24 hours. Not the next year. It was a whole new concept for this self-centered, in-control woman. It’s all about the faith I have, which I don’t always get that warm & fuzzy feeling I hide in. It takes action on my part. I must do the footwork. Standing in place gets me no where. And isolates me from those reaching out to help me. I CANNOT do this journey alone. It is impossible. Accepting that is hard for this control freak. I am learning to lean on friends. Across the miles! And it’s ok to be honest & say I can’t do it alone. Or I’m mad at God for this or that. If it wasn’t my idea, then forget it!

    He has been patient with me. I think of all the crap I’ve done over the past 20 years that I pushed God aside and cannot wrap my mind around His faithfulness. His love. His open arms. No matter what!!

    The term community has taken on a whole new meaning over the past 3 years. It’s not just about the people who are my neighbors, it’s about the internet community that is undoubtedly God’s doing. He has brought together a bunch of broken people who are struggling with various issues. He has given us a sounding board to talk to people around the world!! We pray for each other. We are honest with each other. We cry with each other. We send each other virtual hugs.

    I know not all of my problems are solved on the internet! But, I see how others have handled similar situations & survived. Someone has blazed a trail ahead of me. But, I need to do the footwork to keep up. It is all about the decisions & actions I chose.

    • So true friend… I love your contributions about recovery. They add this really cool dimension to my posts and I always learn something. There are so many truths in 12 step programs and other recovery programs that if we truly embraced them and lived them out each day, our lives would look so different. They are biblical truths (like live for today Matthew 6.34)… so cool 🙂

  8. your heart is in a place of surrender… and though it is SO difficult, it’s the best place you can be right now.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: