Posted by: JennyRain | April 5, 2010

A Catharsis of Writing

I am an introvert.

Because of that, I tend to get in fights in my head, instead of the real-world.

You know what I’m sayin?

Sometimes those conversations, discussions, arguments in my head occur with real people, sometimes fictional characters, but most of the time – they amp me up.

Because all of those conversations are stuck in my head, I have nowhere to go with the energy they produce and often that amped-up-ness turns in on me.

It can get all kinds of ugly up in my head. Just sayin…

Yesterday I learned something.

After a bit of a rough morning, I came home and immediately blogged. I did not say much to my husband, I just went straight to my computer and started writing.

It was a painful blog to write but I knew I had to get some of the stuff on the inside out of me, or it would eventually spew out as ick all over my husband.

Not good.

So I wrote instead.

The more I wrote…the less amped up I felt. The less amped up I felt… the more I wrote.

 

And so the story goes.

It took me about forty-five minutes to get it all out…and I took a bit of a different direction than I initially intended to, but in the end… it was gone.

The pain. The anger. The resentment. The bitterness. The frustration. The feelings of hopelessness.

By the time I closed the lid of my mac, I felt lighter. Freed. I could breathe again.

I knew writing gave me a safe place to process, but I had no idea that I could take this immediate of a situation with such raw emotions, and feel a sense of release as I clicked “publish” and sent my blog into cyberspace.

Now I know.

Yesterday I wrote for me. For my heart. I wrote to make sense of a difficult situation.

I wrote for my marriage. So I wouldn’t damage it with unhealthiness.

I wrote for catharsis and release.

Ahhhh…

What a beautiful thing, a gift, that is this thing called writing. When I pour my soul into it, this writing – it gives back in ways I could never expect.

 

A Whisper Calling
 
Whispers in the darkness
         Of a fading grace

 

Muted worship missing cadence
           Rhythms hiding in a secret space
 

Piercing fragments of reason and faith
           Overflow into a flood
                   My covering left wanting
                            Love spilling from the storm

 

Finding words to wrap the silence
            Or a melody that trails in
                    Reaching deeper inspiration
                          Freedom found within a pen…  
  

               ©Jenny Rain Schmitz (4.7.05)

Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets…Write in a book all the words I have spoken to you…Take a scroll and write on it all the words I have spoken to you…take a stick of wood and write on it (Hab 2.1; Jer 30.2; 36.2; Ez 37.16)

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Responses

  1. I couldn’t agree more! Writing releases those things inside that should not be bottled up, less they release their fury on someone. Just over the weekend while talking with God and telling him about my loneliness and seclusion that I feel from everyone and everything, it occured to me that I should create a blog and write to God Himself… tell him all those secret things I can’t or don’t want to publish to the world for a variety of reasons. So that’s what I’m going to do… write my letters to God and get it out of me!

    • That is awesome Tonya… i love it! what a beautiful devotion to Him… blessings on that blog… would love to see the link when you have it up 🙂

      • ok jenny~ me…sew again. all right. i’m an introvert writer type, too. maybe it’s time for me to blog again. i’ve journaled for years, but now, perhaps it’s time. i’ll have to start a new one because i don’t want traffic from my husband’s blog. http://www.atimetorend.wordpress.com.

        i’m not a fabulous writer like you…and i’m leery of an audience or writing to perform (not saying you do that). but perhaps i could try. i’ll let you know what happens!

  2. Beautiful.

  3. writing is so cathartic for me too. (maybe it’s an introvert thing!) blogging is free therapy. 😉

    • yup yup! Go Introverts 🙂

  4. This is quite real to say. Writing is, indeed, a soother. Of sorts.

    When I am in complete mess, pain, hurt or such other emotion which tends to emote me into doing something to my partner like your “spewing out as ick”, erm, I try to stay calm; calm till I get to my beloved laptop and I write. Not always, but whenever I’ve tried this, I remember coming out of it feeling better. Now, after reading your entry, I guess I’d put it to use all the more.

    Best,
    -Browneyed.

    • 🙂 the ick stuff is actually from a blogger friend of mine – Lisa-Jo… she is at the http://TheGypsymama.com and i just love her writing.

      glad this encouraged you today!

      • Wow. I visited gypsymama and she is amazing! Thanks for introducing 😉

  5. I do this as well. It’s so much better if I can get it out on paper/screen. RELEASE! Good post!


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