Posted by: JennyRain | March 30, 2010

Brokenness is not Optional

It brings great joy to my heart to encourage people.

‘Specially women people. Especially when they are broken, confused, or struggling.

Probably because I have had my own share of pain that I enjoy encouraging. Maybe because that pain- by God’s amazing grace – has equipped me to speak into the struggles of other women, but it is also more than just a love of encouraging.

I am wired to encourage the broken.

Something that I have learned in my thirty-nine-odd years of encouraging is that brokenness is not optional.

We all have to experience our own kind of brokenness.

I gotta be honest though… it is hard for me to watch people I love step into the land of the broken.

Even though I know God works powerfully there. Even though I know that it is only when we are the most shattered, that we are also the most primed for a new creation to occur. Even though I know that brokenness begets growth… and growth begets freedom if we cooperate with the process…

it is still hard to watch my loved ones suffer.

Brokenness is a mandatory stop on every one of our journeys.

Whether we are followers of Christ or not. Young or old. Successful or pitiful.

At some point in our life we will all be broken.

God I hate that.

What we do with the brokenness determines what happens next.

I did not cooperate with my brokenness.

For thirty-six years I denied that I was broken.

For thirty-six years I heaped more broken upon my already heavy broken until I was almost doubled over with the weight of my unresolved brokenness.

I have forgotten happiness…Lamentations 3.17b

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I was broken, instead of embracing the brokenness.

I over spiritualized the brokenness. Psycholo-gized the brokenness. Tried to fix other people’s brokenness instead of my own. Hovered over the brokenness like an unwanted visitor, but refused to enter into relationship with it.

I listened to a lot of people give “helpful” advice…

But what I finally realized is that God Himself had sent, allowed, enabled, sent this season into my life to fix a few things.

Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both good and ill go forth? Lamentations 3:38

I had a broken God concept that was breaking me.

My view of God vascillated between God as holder-of-the-two-by-four to God-as-cosmic-genie. Whenever I am encouraging someone through brokenness now, a broken God-Concept is almost always a part of the problem.

To know who I was, I had to know the Who who created me. I needed to have an accurate picture of the Who I professed to serve.

My God concept was horribly broken.

Who is God to me? What characteristics do I think He has? What language do I use for God?

Does God “have to hit me with a two-by-four” to get me to listen? (Imagine that… a father “hitting” a child with a two by four to get a reaction)

Does God “have it in for me”? (Because we as parents, all “have it in” for our kids)

Does God “just want me to be happy”? (Because God exists so we can be happy… for no other reason)

All of these were fallacies that God used my brokenness and shattered times to reconstruct a healthier image of who He was… and thus, who I was.

Brokenness is for a purpose, it is never wasted.

It is a mandatory step along the path… which is why I love coming alongside of other women struggling through it… but if we embrace this place… God can do amazing things with this place.

Stop fighting it… let it come… and embrace the Savior who is waiting to walk through the brokenness with you.

I called on Your name O Lord, out of the lowest pit. You have heard my voice… Do not hide your ear from my prayer for relief, from my cry for help… Lamentations 3.56



  1. Wow..what a great post.

    I wrestle with this stuff from time to time. I’ve referred to God as an abusive father on many occasions which I know is just flat out silly.

    • Thanks Jason – i have gone through several iterations of “who God is” or “who god isn’t” too… i still remember the amazing freedom i felt one day several summers ago when i realized “wow – God is not me. God is not my parents. God is someone alltogether DIFFERENT from me. God is God’s own ‘person’ God has His own identity.”

      it took me soooo long to get there though. i still find myself “projecting” onto God sometimes 🙂

  2. It’s a humbling place when you see the shards of your life broken on the floor. Sometimes for me because I’m so dense, even though He doesn’t hit us across the head with a 2×4 it takes that to get my attention. It takes Him casting my prideful, arrogant self to the floor and watch as pieces fly everywhere only so He can scoop me back up and begin remaking me — more like Him.

    • Prudy… i LOVE that visual… wow… as i read it, i pictured God picking up the broken pieces and gently re-forming them. thanks girl – love the way you wrap words around thoughts 🙂

  3. I tend to want/try to heal the brokenness in others, but want to ignore my brokenness. Just when I think I’m alright…healed from the brokenness…something hits me in the face to remind me I’m not healed… completely! God still has work to do in me… lots of work.

    • Amen sister! i am SO there too. Whenever I have this unquenchable need to “fix” someone else, I begin to realize “uh oh I have stumbled upon something I may need to work on in myself.” hate that… but love it too 🙂

  4. Amazing post, and oh so true. Brokeness happens for a reason. A friend of mine is a motivational speaker. He was at a convention with other motivational speakers. They were all talking, and a couple of young guys were talking with him about his secret to success. They said they were trying to make it, and struggling. He asked them, how has your life been up to this point? They said, it was good, happy upbringing, no real hard crises, and he said “that is where your problem is, all succesful motivational speakers have had a really bad life at one time or other, and have had to climb out of a dark hole, that is how they motivate others, they were “Borken”.
    God Bless

    • That is SO true! Oh that we would all stop running from necessary brokenness

  5. instead of trying to fix it or get out of it, i just need to embrace my brokenness… so hard, but so true.

  6. Girl, you really know when to let it rip! As always, when I’m in the midst of some sort of trial-tribulation-lamentation type of struggle, your blog entries always speak to my heart and help to see what is right in front of my face.

  7. I love reading about your 36 years of insightful wisdom and it brings me joy when I see you hit the “ah ha!” button. Life is like a roller coaster – we all experience highs and lows in life. But knowing we have a Friend along with us for the ride helps to chronicle one amazing journey of Life! Your blog reminded me of 2 Corinthians 5:17 which I was particularily fond this time of year, 6 years ago: ‘Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.’ Love ya girlie!

    • so true girl… well said 🙂

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