Posted by: JennyRain | March 20, 2010

Abuse is not the end of the story… God is still writing

My story does not end there…

Many of you have been reading my saga of surviving an abusive marriage (part 1, part 2, and part 3).

Some of you might be in the middle of your own saga.

If you are…  I want to encourage you that wherever you are in your story, I promise you, it does not end there.

Many of us thought that my first marriage would be redeemed and resurrected.

It was not.

But I was.

God resurrected my heart from the grave and put it back together. It took a long time. So long, in fact, that if God had told me it was going to take that long, I probably would have abandoned my search for healing in the middle of the journey.

God made my life complete
when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I got my act together,
he gave me a fresh start.
Now I’m alert to God’s ways;
I don’t take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works;
I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together,
and I’m watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes. Ps 18.20-24 MSG

I had a lot of support in this healing journey.

A church community. Solid friends who were also seeking healing and healthy relationships and who were chasing hard after the heart of God.

A nine-week intervention called Time to Fly that catapulted me into a three year healing process and surrounded me with a network of Godly women that undergird my life to this day with prayer and community.

Trauma healing. Specifically – EMDR, creative imaging, and ego-state therapy in the form of DNMS (huh? Go to the links friends 🙂 )

God was the ultimate Healer of my heart. I had to meet him where He wanted me to be, however, in order to BE healed.

An insane amount of prayer, fasting, obedience, falling on my face and getting up again, and more prayer. I devoured the Word of God. Literally. I pressed into God. I cried. I laughed. I learned to trust again.

I discovered myself. I figured out what I liked, what I did not like.

I learned to trust MYSELF again and discovered that I was a pretty good read on people when I took the time to listen to my heart.

I made a list of things I wanted to see in a husband and gave the list to God to fulfill on His time.

I did not die to my desire to be married again, to find love again, but I left that desire in God’s hands and trusted Him for the timing.

Almost eight years later, I met the man who is now my sweet husband.

He loves God and is willing to work on our marriage. He is forgiving and kind and has a heart for peace and reconciliation. He likes to hang out and watch “our shows” together.

He is a man of integrity who has a heart to love others as he has been loved.

John was worth the wait.


But even if God had not given me John, God gave me Himself and has allowed me to understand some of the fullness of Divine Love. And in that receiving from God, I have learned how to allow myself to be loved by John.

By learning how God loves me, I can see John’s attempts to love me too.

By learning how to love God, I am learning how to love my husband.

And in knowing the magnificence of God’s love, even if I had never married again, God’s love would hold me.

So, this is the end of my story… for now.

Or maybe it is just the start of a new beginning.

Thank you for letting me share my heart and my journey… may God bless you wherever you are. May you know that if you have chosen to give your heart and life to God, you serve a redemptive God who wants a redeemed future for you. He is with you wherever you are and will restore the years you have lost…

I will restore the years the locusts have eaten… Joel 2.25

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Responses

  1. Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this 🙂

  2. I love this: “Many of us thought that my first marriage would be redeemed and resurrected. It was not. But I was.”

    The power of God!!

    Also love the look your husband is giving you in the picture. Loving, adoration.

  3. Jenny,
    Thank you for telling your story, there are many who have gone through, are going through, or are about to go through something like this, and your story encourages those who are poor in spirit to look upward. You are not content to take God’s blessing and forget the past, but to use your testimony to help your brothers and sisters get through their storm. God Bless you and your Husband, you do God’s work!
    Jim

  4. […] (part 1, part 2, and part 3, epilogue) […]

  5. […] Meet with Me: Surviving an Abusive Marriage: Part 2 Click here to read (part 1, part 2, part 3, and epilogue) […]

  6. […] with Me: Surviving an Abusive Marriage: Part 2What is your story? I mean your REAL storyAbuse is not the end of the story… God is still writingSharing Our […]

  7. I would definitely say this is just the beginning. 🙂

  8. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s so easy sometimes to hide away things in the past we’d rather not talk about and I definitely have emotional scars that I wish I could talk more about. I think in heaven all those scars will be wiped clean and it will be such a light, incredible feeling. =)

  9. i find myself in a process much similar to what you went through — discovering myself. learning who i am and what i like/don’t like. i got married so young, and niel was the only guy i ever dated… so it’s as though i never took the time to get to know me. this isn’t a re-discovery. this is a first-time-discovery.

    it’s overwhelming at times, but it’s also exciting. exciting to ‘get to’ figure these things out.

    i can’t get these words out of my head:

    “Many of us thought that my first marriage would be redeemed and resurrected. It was not. But I was.”

    i’m seeing Him do the same with me.

    (thank you for letting Him use your story to impact me!)

    • 🙂 *hug* i had so many people praying for the resurrection/redemption/ reuniting of our marriage … i think when God chose to place a period at the end of that sentence, we were all in shock.

      now i look back and it was the BEST thing that could have happened to me… even though it SUCKED LEMONS going through it…

      i can’t wait to see how God resurrects your heart… shows you who He has designed you to be… introduces you to all these little pieces of your identity that are SO beautiful that you probably never knew you had in you…

      eeeeee…. i get excited just thinking about it for you 🙂

      thank YOU for letting God use your story to push me off the ledge of beginning to share too… it was a story that needed to come out… so BLESSED that God has intersected our journies 🙂

  10. […] am grateful for freedom in my […]

  11. Wow–I love your courage and integrity about sharing your real struggles. I, too, wondered if God’s healing would come in the form of a restored marriage–even after unfaithfulness and other things. But, like you, it has come inwardly; changing who I am–so that I can step back and still love unconditionally, even if everything doesn’t line up with what it could by; should be. Appreciate you.

  12. I have no words. You have so much courage! You have inspired me and encouraged me and brought me to tears and I’m so glad our paths have crossed. Thank you for sharing your story. You have no idea what you have done for me today.

    • Hi Makeda… God is good sister, yes? Sooo glad you were encouraged. Love your heart… so much 🙂


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