Posted by: JennyRain | February 16, 2010

Africa Calling: Do Not Answer?!?

Three different people have approached me about a mission trip to Africa in the last few weeks.

Three.

“Just pray about it.” They have all said.

Pray? Why? I probably know the answer already! The minute I sit down to pray about it I feel like all of heaven is jumping up and down saying “Finally! She finally is praying about coming back to Africa! Whoo hoo! It’s about time girlfriend.”

Of course, I obediently sit down to pray and this is what I immediately write in my journal:

“Lord I just get the sense that you would never say no to Africa – at least as far as I’m concerned.”

In other words – Africa seems to be an eternal yes for me – me and God go way back on this one.

Oye.

Why Africa? Why me? Why now?

I like taking a shower – every day. We just got a new king-size, pillow-top bed and I love smooshing into its fluffiness every night.

Brushing my teeth with running water is so delightful – they feel cleaner. How will I straighten my hair with no electricity? I’m so happy and comfortable in my suburbanite existence with my husband, .75 dogs, and my mini-van.

Yes people, I drive a mini-van, let’s move on…

In short – it just doesn’t make logical sense.

I almost uprooted my life to go to Africa in 2007 and now I find myself afraid to go. This has been such a long journey with so many questions – the biggest one of all being, “Was it my idea in the first place to go to Africa or was it God’s?”

That is the million-dollar question.

Yet after three years Africa continues to zzzzzip around my head like Pigpen’s flies.

 

It’s a really bad time – I’m busy at work. I am taking my last two classes in seminary, plus working 40+ hours of work. I’m in my first year of marriage and my husband needs to be my first priority outside of God.

I have no time to raise money and no money to go. What if I get in country and turn into grumpy Monkee?

What if they make me stay in a mud-hut in the African bush with no running water?

WHERE WILL I TEE -TEE IF THERE IS NO RUNNING WATER?!?

Excuses… excuses.

So Africa is back on the map. Truthfully – after talking with the leader today – the trip could not be better suited to my ministry giftings. Furthermore, their vision for ministry is perfectly aligned with my own beliefs on how missions should run in a foreign country.

Missions does not get any better than this.

Bamboozled by Kailea again. Thank you dear friend.

Of course I haven’t spoken to John about it yet. He is still in school so the possibility of him going with me are slim to none.

He may say no which will stop the pondering in my brain.

Or, he may read my blog before I have a chance to talk with him about it and get really mad and then say no.

Or, he may just not say yes.

Or he may pack my bags for me…

Sigh… Africa calling. Again…

I just don’t get it. What is in Africa that I can’t get here?

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Responses

  1. I feel your pain! I was asked to go back a few weeks ago. I wrestled with it for a few days. In the midst of that wrestling the first counsel I sought left me no more sure of what I was supposed to do than when I first asked the question. At my second stop, truth zapped me right between the eyes. I love Africa, it’s true; however my ministry isn’t to just Africa. God may have changed my location, but he didn’t change my passion. I hope you get some good clarity soon. And you’re talking about a few weeks, right?

  2. Well, I have to admit that my first response is Go Girl! But I’ve learned that even a good thing is not nec. a God thing. I know you know that. Will be praying with you and for you. Keep us posted!


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