Posted by: JennyRain | February 15, 2010

Messy Love

Love is not what I thought it would be.

It is a lot messier.

Eight months ago when John and I chose 1 Corinthians 13 for our wedding scripture we were googley-eyed optimistic that we would be able to supernaturally offer each other those qualities touted as “Godly love.”

Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t strut…
Isn’t always “me first”…
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others…
Puts up with anything,
Always looks for the best…

Be patient, kind, think of the other person first, don’t fly off the handle?

No problem!

Then we stepped into the daily reality of marriage and realized loving someone is not just words on a page.

We learned that Godly love is a daily choice that involves intentionality and effort, sacrifice and long-suffering.

When I forget to put away the dishes – four times in the same week – Godly love asks John not to keep score of my oversight.

When I am frustrated because a soccer training has interrupted our Valentine’s plans, Godly love challenges me to remember it is not “me first.”

When we are being ugly with each other, Godly love reminds us that one of our jobs as husband and wife is to look for the best in the other person.

The beauty of the white silk dress and lavender florals that marked the beginning of our covenanted love together are no longer its daily reality because true Godly love is messy!

When I think about God’s love it was messy too.

God came to earth in human form to show the eternality of the relationship God wants to have with each of us and suffered death by torture and crucifixion so that our sins would not separate us from a holy God.

The most perfect love we can ever know had to endure one of the most horrifying human experiences – torture and death.

Yet Perfect Love made this choice for us because Jesus cared more for others than Himself and did not put Himself first. When He was being abused for our sins, Jesus did not fly off the handle, indeed He put up with anything.

Jesus chose Love so that we could enter into an eternal relationship with God.

Jesus’ perfect love for us got messy too.

Today I am grateful for messy love.

Father thank you for drawing our hearts toward You in love. Help me to remember that messy love is not broken love because Your broken, messy love on the cross was considered “Perfect” by my Heavenly Father. Jesus help me to embrace Godly love every moment of every day, and in doing so, may I find Your heart for my marriage.

Have some insight on love that you would like to share? Go to Rachel Olson’s blog and enter the Devotional Carnival! You will also see other Proverbs 31 writers who have each shared a devotional on love!




  1. Me too – I’m grateful for a Love that is willing to get messy and walk me through anything.

    Good stuff!

    Blessings ~ Rachel

  2. I love this. Thank you for your insight. It’s hard not to get down on yourself or your marriage when it gets messy. When you both focus on Christ, you see it all part of the loving plan.

  3. […] you can imagine my suprise when Rachel emailed me to let me know I had won for my blog Messy Love considering the company of writers I was […]

  4. […] you can imagine my surprise when Rachel emailed me to let me know that my blog Messy Love was the winner… especially considering the company of amazing writers that I found myself. […]

  5. […] at times so this is it. If you came to the Rain looking for some deep thoughts… click here for your daily dose of […]

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