Posted by: JennyRain | July 24, 2009

Negative Nan Will You Please Go Away!

Negativity ruins my day.     


This week I had a conversation that was so negative, once it ended I felt like I needed a shower. It irked me because I did not realize I was into the morass-of-mumbling until well into the talk, but by then I could not extricate myself from the conversation.
What struck me most about the conversation was the commanding tone of the other person:  

Do this…
You must remember to do that…
If you do not do that, then this….

The results – according to this conversationalist if I did not “do this or that” were absolutely catastrophic. If I did not take full responsibility for doing this or that, then the worst-case-scenario would happen.
The conversation was full of fear and control. Anyone who knows anything about control knows it is one big ILLUSION! The more we try to control things, the more we make ourselves crazy because we soon realize that we cannot control anything.
The conversation also caught me by suprise because the conversationalist was not a person I initially expected to display these traits. I am learning that often toxic negativity comes in packages we least expect! Often those “packages” are sugary sweet to the touch on the outside, but “dead men’s bones” on the inside.
Out of the mouth the heart speaks.
I have a really hard time with negativity. This trait is probably difficult for me to be a part of because I have worked diligently to change my own negative behaviors. It is something my family is guilty of and it is something we as a collective unit have tried to change in the last five years, but in order to “fix” it and begin changing things in my family, we had to deal with some of the heart issues.
As this conversation proceeded, I felt sorry for the heart-issues this individual must be suffering. I heard the pain in the words that were not spoken and I felt the weight of oppression that was being carried. I began wondering, “Is negativity learned, or is it genetic?” I thought about all of the therapeutic techniques and medications that are available if the negativity is based genetically on depression or anxiety (which was the case in my own life), and began wondering, “Knowing that there are so many possible solutions to a negative mindset, why do people persist in walking around with something that is killing them from the inside out?” I do not get it.
Negativity is one-part choice

I know – first hand – what it is like to walk around with negativity battering the insides of your brain – I did it for thirty-six years. As the people who helped me out of the pit said, “Jenny, that is thirty-six years TOO long to live with that!” I listened and my life is so much different now because I dealt with the anxiety and depression that had ruled my life for far too long.

Each part of my healing journey involved choice.
We simply cannot heal a negative mindset without first choosing to get well. EVEN if our anxiety, depression, and negative mind-set are physiological and/or bio-chemical imbalances, the first step to getting well is choosing to get help. The second part is choosing to “take the medicine” that the helper advises. The third part is choosing to stay well.

I choose to listen to my body as it was telling me, “I’m hurting. Help me!”
I choose to begin counseling and stay in counseling, even through the hard parts.
I choose to dig through God’s word and see what He said about healing and our minds.
I choose to pray daily and then listen to what God had to say.
I choose to make myself accountable to community and share my struggles with others so they would know how to come along side of me.

I know that I still have bad days – my hubby will tell you that! But the overall cloud that once wrapped my brain in darkness has vanished. The negative thoughts and the toxic anxiety that used to wrap around me like a wet blanket, causing me to need to control every aspect of my time and space have found somewhere else to roost (Elvis has “left the building” so to speak). I am learning to love every day that God has given me and have found many reasons to be grateful.
Negativity has lost its home.

Once I stopped making negativity “home” in my physical house (my brain & body), my life began to change. Once I began making choices that honored God’s “temple” (my body) – which includes Spirit, soul, mind, body, heart – I began stepping into healthiness.
Perhaps this is why my heart breaks over this negative conversation this week. I see the inner turmoil of this individual. I see that though external circumstances are feeding the negativity and keeping it alive, circumstances do not determine our mind-set – We do (with God’s amazing Grace working through us).

1 Thessalonians 2:12 We exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.
Colossians 4:2 Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.
Ephesians 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.
Luke 1:47 And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.(KJV)
Rom 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
John 16:24 Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full. (KJV)
John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. (KJV)
Acts 13:52 And the disciples were filled with joy, and with the Holy Ghost. (KJV)
Rom 12:12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; (KJV)
Rom 14:17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. (KJV)
Rom 15:13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost. (KJV)
Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith(KJV)
2 Cor 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Phil 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. (KJV)



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