Posted by: JennyRain | October 3, 2007

Beyond Belief

A conversation with a good friend of mine last night started me pondering on this thing we call “having a relationship with God through Christ.”

What exactly does that statement mean to someone who has not been indoctrinated into the process of the 4-spiritual laws or church-ianity? Does it mean anything at all?

When I first heard that concept, I must admit, I was baffled. How can I, a finite human, have a “relationship” with an ethereal, very large-in-my-mind Diety? I mean, if I drag that comment down to here-on-earth and attempt to wrap my mind around what that picture would look like, it would end up with me – as human – walking around with this Being that is kind of like a ghost or apparition. My understanding got stuck at the point at which I tried to imagine walking around with a Being that I could not physically touch or hug, a Being that was rather “floaty” in my mind. A Being that I thought I could not talk to or who would not respond to me.

So for many years, I just ignored this theme of “relationship with God through Christ.”

I mean, c’mon. If I’m going to have a relationship with someone, I need them here. Like now. I need to be able to touch them, talk to them, feel them, hug them even! I need a Being that will be interactive with me, go places with me, someone who is intimately involved in the details of my life, and I in His, someone who is like the world’s best provider, someone who anticipates my needs before I have them, someone who I love back to such a degree that I can’t get Him off my mind… someone that I wake up in the morning dying to respond to His needs, His voice, His gentle touch. Someone I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with, because I am so in love with Him.

For years, people told me what I should “believe” about God, how to “respond” to God, how to “be in relationship” with God through Christ, but no one told me that I could feel things for God, and that I could love God with all my heart. No one told me the degree to which God loved me. I heard a lot about the cross, but truthfully, it did not mean much. It was just something wooden and inanimate. I heard about the cross, but didn’t understand how a hideous thing such as the cross could have possibly translated into the caring, gentle, amazing love that God has for me. I just had a block in my brain about this. 

Another thing I struggled with is all of these “rules.” I didn’t understand how a God who loved me so much would require me following rules to be in relationship with Him. I mean, when you are in relationship with someone, they don’t give you 42 rules to follow in order to be in relationship with them. Can you imagine the conversation?

Boyfriend: Ok, Jenny, so like, in order to be in relationship with me, you have to walk four paces, brush your hair upside down, spin around, always wear pink, and lift your left leg above your head when you get within 5 feet of me. Then I can be in relationship with you. 

Jenny: Huh?


I mean, if after we fell in love the boyfriend asked me to do that, I would be completely loony and compelled by love and probably would do it, no questions asked! I would be so compelled by the amazing response of being loved, I would probably do anything… but knowing that I was loved, that would have to come first. Then I could act like a goon. I could believe that my boyfriend was great, I could see he was a good person, I could be around him 24/7, but unless I received his love and responded to it, our relationship would be a farce because you are only in relationship with someone if you choose to be… and that goes beyond belief, beyond understanding, beyond knowledge. So I didn’t get all of these crazy rules and what they had to do with having a relationship with God – If He is so loving, why all the nutty rules?  

And what of Christ? Who is He exactly?

I mean, is He God, or is He human? And how can someone be God and human – is that possible? And why in the world would God, this mighty, far-away, all powerful Being, become a measly man? What fun is that! Did He have some sick desire to be able to relate to us on a more human level? Why in the world would someone give up all of His power and might to condescend to our level – it just did not make sense to me, this absurd reaching out He seems to do through His humanity.  

Then I thought, well, I’ve had boyfriends who have chased me for years… people that no matter what, were just there, consistent, loving, and provided for me. Men that I could not understand why they stuck around because good gracious, I was no peach to be around! Yet, they were always there with consistent expressions of love. Going above and beyond, putting their own lives on hold to make sure I knew that I was loved.

Wow. What if God’s love for me is like that? A rather stalker-ish type of love (in a more positive way of course). A love that is like those old boyfriends who would not let me go, not matter what I tried to get rid of them.

And what if I chose to respond to that love, understanding that no matter how rocky my heart may be, or how rough my personality, or dirty my past is, that I would be loved forever – no matter what. And that through the very humanity of Christ, because He chose to step into the skin of mankind and become one of us… I can have that relationship here and now, that ultimate love that I have been longing for. Just like I can choose to enter into love relationships with people, so I can enter into a love relationship with God, through the person of Christ.

So that is what I did. I chose to stop running away and accept the love that was offered to me from God through Christ.

So maybe my theology wasn’t perfect, and my beliefs were a bit “off,” or my understanding wasn’t where it needed to be… but I know my heart was. I know that when I reached out for that love, God responded. He responded in my heart, in my mind, and in my person with a fulfilling, extraordinary love that continues to go beyond even my wildest imaginations. He is real, fleshly, and I can experience Him here. He is always present, His track record of provision goes beyond any earthly love. He is substantive – not ethereal. He is the greatest love that I have ever known.

What if being in relationship with God is just as simple as that?


MSG: Romans 10 selections: “You’re not doing anything; you’re simply calling out to God, trusting Him to do it for you. That’s salvation. With your whole being you embrace God setting things right, wand then you say it, right out loud: ‘God has set everything right between Him and me!’” Scripture reassures us, “No one who trusts God like this – heart and soul – will ever regret it.”  

Copyrighted by author 10.3.2007 ©




  1. Hey Jenny!

    I just wanted you to know that I started blogging again on my own blogspot account. Anyway, I’ll be in touch.


  2. Hey Jenny!

    I just wanted you to know that I started blogging again on my own blogspot account. I will be keeping up with yours now. You rock.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: