Posted by: JennyRain | December 9, 2006

AfterEve 5: Mini-Me

Why does it sometimes feel there are multiple “me’s”? There is a church me, a school me, a work me, and a going-out-on-Friday me… are they all me?

If your behavioral tendencies are driven by context, then you probably feel like you are walking around with lots of “mini-me’s” inside of you. One mini-me shows up at church but then stays at home and lets another mini-me go to work for you on Monday. The energetic mini-me dons your workout gear and goes to the gym, but then lets a different mini-me out on Friday nights.

Allowing your identity to be driven by context is like picking out a pair of pants from your closet in the morning and expecting them to define you. Though the pants may be connected to you by virtue of proximity, they are not you.

Where do the mini-me’s come from?

Often the same need that drives the mini-me to appear in one sphere of life will cause it to evidence itself in another area of life too. For example, a person who has a great need for respect might evidence himself as a leader at work, but a tyrant at home. A preacher who has a great desire to be of impact in her church preaching, may appear to be a people-pleaser with her friends. What “appears” functional at work is dysfunctional at home and visa-versa.

If you want to determine the reason for the starring role of the mini-me’s in your life, look for the need that drives their appearance.

First: Examine your needs…

Do you have a need to be heard or recognized? Do your needs center around relationship? Do you have a need to have a certain status? Do you have a need for accomplishment? Do you have a need to help people? Do you have a need to explain yourself?

Second: Look for the root of that need…

Where did this need first come from? Are you seeking to get that need met in a functional or dysfunctional way? Where was the first appearance of that need in your life?

Third: Validate the need that you have…

Often we cannot move beyond and heal from the needs that we have because we have not learned to validate the need. It is ok to need love, acceptance, and understanding. Our problems come not with our needs, but our inability to validate our legitimate needs.

Fourth: Allow Christ into that place of need…

Christ is capable of meeting needs that you have (Ph 4:19), being a comfort during your grief (2 Cor 1:3-5), He understands every battle that you face (Heb 4:15), and we can be confident in approaching Him with our needs (Heb 4:16, Heb 10:19-23), knowing that He has compassion on each of us (Mark 6:34).

Insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over and expecting a different result at the outcome of the event. Healing is returning to the place of your need with Christ’s presence and allowing Him to navigate your steps out of the valley.

All writing on this blog copyrighted by author 12.9.2006 (c)


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