Posted by: JennyRain | October 27, 2006

I Quit.

Scholar David Barrett says that 53,000 people a week quit Christianity.

Make that 53,001 because I quit too.

  • I quit working my tail off in seminary for grades that are less than average. After all, seminary was God’s idea in the first place, not mine!
  • I quit attempting to understand why I have stepped out of a fourteen year career, put my house and all of my belongings on the market, for a call to move to Africa where I will have nothing.
  • I quit trying to sell a house that is not moving.
  • I quit trying to find money in odd places to pay bills that continue to rise.
  • I quit trying to keep up with school. 21 papers, 32 quizzes, 5 tests, and a cadre of daily work is quite simply too much to cram in a 16 week period.
  • I quit asking for scholarship help even though I have no way of paying for school starting in January. Maybe I’m just not supposed to go next semester!

I quit!

Can you quit being Christian?

What is the value-add in following Christ? Is it worth it? Should we, as followers of Christ be spending a lot of time trying to convince others to become followers of Christ too? Is it really worth it?

It seems to me, when I look out in the world, those who have chosen to not follow Christ have a lot less battles to fight. Hypothetically speaking, we followers of Christ have the “strong hand of the Lord” helping us in every difficult place, so we are “never alone,” but there are times when I wish He would show up a bit faster.

When we put our lives as followers of Christ next to the lives of “pagans,” can someone show me the benefit of following Christ?

What the church tells us.

The church tells us the benefit is that we will not go to hell if we follow Christ. Great! When was the last time anybody thought on a regular basis about the concept of hell? What it actually is, what we would be doing there?

The church tells us that “we need” to follow Christ because our lives will be transformed. Right on! Mine has definitely been transformed (see above paragraph for details).

The church tells us that God has an “abundant life” waiting for us on the other side of following Him. Cool! Define abundance for me, will you please (see ** below for details)

If I had to do it all over again, I might consider a death-bed conversion. Seems like that would be a bit less painful than trying this thing called “Following Christ.”

** Psssst: I’m not mistaken, when Jesus was talking about providing an “abundant life” the word He used for “life” was Zoë, which means spiritual life. Not “bios” or “psyche” which mean physical or mental life. How does one go about receiving abundance in their spiritual life? Oh yes, silly me – usually through trials!

Decided

So today, I quit. Now my problem is, where do I go?

Many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore. So Jesus said to the twelve, “You do not want to go away also do you?” Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord to whom shall we go?”


If I really examine my heart, my life, my deepest longings, and my desires, quitting is not an option for me. In spite of the trials, the difficulties, the pain, the struggles, and the questions, quitting will not help me find what it is that I am truly seeking, because what I seek, and what I want, every hour of every day… is just to know Jesus a little bit more, a little bit deeper, and find His heart, His truth, and His ways in everything I do.

And usually the way to my desires, and longings, and deepest wants… is through the Cross of Christ. And it is worth it. Even if I can not find a value-add, or a benefit, or a sales pitch for Jesus. I know that it is worth it, both in the days to come, and in the now.

All writings on this blog are copyrighted © by author 10/27/2006.
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Responses

  1. what beautiful honesty. the world so needs to hear us be honest, espe. when we feel like quitting. melanie


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